Baby Pillows
by madame.alexandra
Summary: McGee and DiNozzo are having Bro Time at a local bar, and talking about what their favorite part about having kids is. Tiva, McMax (?) (McGee and the Maxine gamer chick). For a couple of agents who are supposed to be enjoying man time, they don't sound very manly at all-toasting to baby pillows? One-shot; fluFFY.


_A/N:_ _idk, fluffy little adorable something ( i mean like, frighteningly adorable by my standards). _

_The Tiva baby is the one I used in the other stories I've written (Namesake/Whiskey __Lullaby) and I've slated that Maxine gamer chick McGee protected once as the McGee babymamma, because she was badass and I wanted to see more of her._

_set after season 10 (...obviously). _

* * *

Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. was stirring two black swizzle sticks around in his beer when the bar seat next to him was _finally_ occupied by an out of breath, red-faced Timothy McGee.

He chucked the swizzle sticks down, satisfied that his beer was foamy again—it had gone flat due to McGee's tardiness—and reached over to clap the younger agent on the back.

"It's about time, Tim," he griped good-naturedly. "Thought I was gonna have to drink your beer, too."

"Sorry, sorry," spluttered McGee hurriedly. "We couldn't get the baby down and I didn't want to leave Maxine to do it by herself, so I stuck around until she finally went to sleep," he trailed off pausing to catch his breath and order his own beer.

"Look at you, Mc-Hands-on-Father," DiNozzo snorted wryly. "Good man, stickin' around to help Max get some peace."

"Didn't you, when the boys were little?"

DiNozzo snorted loudly.

"Uh, _no_. Not 'cause I didn't want to—more 'cause if one of 'em was screaming his head off for no reason and I was lurking, it was somehow _my_ fault."

"What?" McGee asked, startled. "How?"

"I don't know, Probie-Papa, ask _Ziva_. You've met her. She's in_sane_."

McGee grinned, taking a long, much-needed sip of his beer. He let out a breath and leaned back, exhausted from the past month or so. This was the first time he and DiNozzo were resuming their weekly Thursday night, after hours, man time since McGee's little girl had been born. Out of respect for the chaos that came with brand new babies, DiNozzo had put a hold on Bro Time until McGee—or rather, McGee's wife—decided it was acceptable to start again.

"How is she?" DiNozzo asked.

"Bigger," McGee said, his eyes widening. "She's already gained three pounds."

DiNozzo laughed.

"Yeah, they grow fast," he said, whistling. He ran his hand up and down his beer glass, smudging the condensation. "Ziva cried once because she thought Anthony got too big too fast and she wanted him to go back—_whoa_," Tony blanched suddenly. "Don't tell her I said that, Probie, don't _ever_ tell her I told you that."

McGee grinned.

"I won't—but I wish Katherine would get a little bigger. I always feel like I'm gonna break her."

"Nah, babies are sturdier than ya think," DiNozzo said wisely. "Hey, you guys gonna call 'er Kate?" he asked eagerly, still pushing McGee to settle on a nickname. "It'd be cool, you know."

"We haven't decided, Tony," McGee warned. "Max likes _Kit_."

"But McGee," whined DiNozzo. He didn't have girls and he wouldn't ever ask Ziva to name a daughter of hers Kate—he had snuck _Todd_ in as his second son's middle name, and he wasn't sure if Ziva had turned a blind eye to it, or realized afterwards that it was Kate's surname.

McGee glared at Tony.

"I don't ask to nickname your kids," he pointed out.

"Well _yeah_ because Gibbs and Ziva already monopolized that," groused DiNozzo loudly, huffing slightly. "Anthony Leroy…_Al_…" he grumbled to himself. He rolled his eyes and then swiveled in his chair. "You gettin' any sleep?"

"No," McGee admitted grudgingly. "Maxine doesn't seem to mind, though."

"Watch out thinkin' that," DiNozzo said dryly. "I spend this one delusional week thinking Ziva _wanted_ to get up every time Anthony cried because she was breastfeeding, except then one time I woke up and she was standing there holding him out to me with this totally _feral_ look on her face—"

He shuddered at the memory, but still, he grinned.

"It's great, isn't it?" he asked.

McGee yawned, but he smiled, too.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Hey," DiNozzo nudged his partner. "What's your favorite part 'bout being a father?" he asked.

"I don't know," McGee retorted. "It's only been six weeks."

"Aw, c'mon," wheedled Tony. "Come on, you _know_."

"What's yours?" McGee demanded, folding his arms.

"What, right now?" DiNozzo grinned smugly. "The boys keep leavin' their Legos all over the floor, and Ziva keeps steppin' on them. Those things hurt like you'd never believe, so she goes _ballistic_ on them and they laugh, so she starts screamin' in Hebrew, and they can't understand it, so they laugh more, and they tell her 'Ima, we were building a boat' and then Ziva goes even _more_ ballistic and calls Gibbs and screams at him," he explained wildly.

He grinned, shaking his head fondly at the memory. His wife might not appreciate him taking pleasure in her foot pain, but he couldn't help that he found the act of her chasing Elijah and Anthony around the house shouting in mangled _Hebrenglish_ hilarious.

Arching his eyebrows, DiNozzo elbowed McGee.

"C'mon, McDaddy," he insisted. "Speak now, or I'm tellin' Maxine you want to take the kid back."

McGee looked appalled at the threat. He turned red, and took a drink of beer, swallowing it down and licking his lips.

"Uh," he began. "Well, I guess," he frowned. "Uh, I usually give Katherine a bath while Max naps, so, uh—after that—you know when they, the babies, sort of fall asleep on your chest."

"Yeah," DiNozzo drawled. He curled his fist. "They do this with their weird tiny hands and move their lips—"

McGee didn't have the heart to tell Tony he was imitating an infant in the middle of a pretty tough bar, making a total fool of himself. Instead, he just grinned, and nodded.

"That part, that's nice. When she sleeps on me."

DiNozzo lowered his fist and picked up his beer, looking at his partner smugly. He nodded.

"That's the stuff," he agreed, holding out his drink. "To being baby pillows."

McGee snorted, and clinked his glass to the toast.

It seemed having kids really mellowed out bro night.

* * *

_asdhafi babY PILLOWS omg  
mcgoo, tony, u big softies._

_hope you enjoyed  
-alexandra_

_story #144_


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